[Delta Flyer]

I was entering the freeway at 5:30 pm Saturday and was nearly run over by a yahoo that richly deserves to have his licence yanked. Sometimes I drive for economy, sometimes I drive with the pack. I knew at that time of the week to drive with the traffic, not for economy.

I was on the ramp going to 65 mph and this Cadllliac Escalade tried to cut me off from freeway access. This is an H2-sized club cab pickup truck. He could have easily passed me to the right but choose not to. I was almost going 75 mph when he passed me.

His Texas license plate:
"MF-4"

This barbarian nearly runs me off the road with a cab full of people apparently impressed with his behavior. I suspected that there were a lot of people driving monsters also acting like monsters and proud of it.

I have a number of illegal fanatisies to castrate this guy as he should not be allowed to drive.

Since so many city and state goverments across America are facing budget shortfalls, just crackdown on agressive and reckless driving! Hide hi-resolution cameras that will document the beastly behavior, then have law enforcement to greet him. Treat reckless and agressive driving like DWI with jail time and loss of licence. I really think such enforcement would sharply reduce the way these little boys play with all of our lives on the road.

 

[slideways]

Okay while we're on the subject of fantasizing I remember reading in some car mag about an African nation where the cops would simply drag a violator from the car and beat them with billy clubs. NICE!!!

Hey. it's just a fantasy

 

[boogetyboogety]

Top Ten Fantasies (some harsh, but hey... they're fantasies)

#10: (credit the comedian, Gallagher, he of watermelon-squashing fame) When you get a driver's license, you are issued a suction-cup dart gun. If you see some yahoo doing something illegal in traffic, you shoot a dart at him. When a cop sees a car with more than two darts on it, he pulls him over and gives him a ticket. :lol:

#9: For tailgaters: Rear-facing spear gun shoots spear into radiator, disables vehicle. :twisted:

#8: All vehicles equipped with remote-controlled smoke-and-stink bombs inside cabin, with code to detonate clearly posted above license plate. All cars also equipped with device to transmit the code. Stupid drivers are given five "freebie" instances, but the sixth time they mess up, any vengeful driver can initiate the smoke/stink bomb. Cars with detonated stink bombs cannot pass inspection until device is rearmed and a fine of $500 is paid. :twisted:

#7: (for left-lane bandits) All vehicles have barcodes on the right side of the vehicle, with a barcode reader and transmitter on the left side. Each time you are passed on the right, your barcode is transmitted to the authorities, and after five such passes, you are fined $10 per transmission. If a vehicle on the left passes more than five cars in a one-minute period, the same applies. To avoid hefty fines while passing parked cars (or a lane with stuck traffic), speed sensors determine relative speed of vehicles, and if a difference of over 15 or 20 mph is recorded, the fine applies... :twisted:

#6: Speeders in school zones are stopped, dragged from the vehicle by authorities, and summarily shot with a tranquilizer gun. They are handcuffed to the nearest vertical pole or tree and allowed to wake up on their own three or four hours later regardless of weather conditions. Handcuff keys are provided upon payment of a $500 fine. :shock:

#5: Lane weavers are forced to drive with their handbrakes on for a distance not less than ten, and not to exceed twenty, miles. 8)

#4: Insights (and other hybrids) are issued special plates that allow exclusive use of specific lanes of traffic, devoid of other vehicles. :lol:

#3: Vehicles over 4,000 GVW pay an additional gas tax. :shock:

#2 Parking spaces for hybrids are just beside and slightly further out than disabled parking spots. They are also extra wide to eliminate dented doors from adjacent, thoughtless parkers. :x

And the Number One fantasy for drivers in a rude environment...

Photon Torpedoes... :twisted:

 

[Delta Flyer]

Anyone familiar with the Sick Bay in Star Trek the last ten years? If someone has a small to moderate wound, this wand-type device seals it. I have a mis-application.

A trooper pulls over a blantly reckless or aggressive driver. As he is instructed to get out of the vehichle, he waves a wand over the lower seat of his pants.

As such stops are made, the media reports a condition known as "Chronic Irritable Rectum Syndrome" (CIRS). Mysteriously, the people afflicted with this painful condition have flown down the freeway like they have overdosed on crack and steriods. Just think of this as hi-tech version of the Puritans' Scarlet A :twisted:

 

[Aaron Cake]

Tailgaters, while not fun in the Insight, are a great source of amusement in the RX-7. You see, an rotary engine with an open exhaust is perhaps the worlds greatest automotive flamethrower. Especially after some large injectors and an open-air vented blow off valve. Under boost from the turbo, fuel is being firehosed into the engine to keep things happy. When you lift off the throttle, the BOV vents excess air to the atmosphere. The fun begins because at that point, the computer is still fueling the engine for the amount of air it detects is being injested by the turbo. This leads to a momentary SUPER RICH condition, which consequently gets dumped into the exhaust system. The result? Duel 5-10 foot flames exiting the exhaust at the rear of the car.

Using this system is simple:

1. Wait for some punk kid to start tailgating
2. Slow down a little very slowly, so he/she doesn't notice
3. Shift down a gear, then punch throttle up to redline. It is important to time so that you don't actually take off, just incease engine speed about 1000 RPM and allow the boost to build
4. Quickly lift off throttle in gear. Vacuum forces BOV open, and you should hear "psssssss....POP....wooooossssshhhhh" as a brilliant flash is seen behind the car, and the other driver suddenly drops back 100+ feet as flames lick his/her hood.

If you get good at this, you can leave scortch marks on light coloured bumpers.

 

[boogetyboogety]

Hee hee hee hee hee... :lol:

Right out of college (class of '73) I had an RX-3... fun fun fun fun car... first and only rotary I ever owned. Curse my "early adopter" gene... that little hummer would fly but oh-my-gawd it used a ton of oil. Sold it a year or so later and bought a (gasp!) '72 Torino! Forgive me for I knew not what I was doing...

I want a flamethrower now... :twisted:

 

[Aaron Cake]

I would love to own an old-school rotary. The RX-3, or the (drool) Cosmo...I once was close to buying an NSU Ro80, but the seller backed out then sold the car on eBay.

 

[james]

Used to have an RX-3 too. Used to travel a lot for my work then, and boy was it a great car for the open road. I don't think there WAS a top speed on it. And not too bad on gas on the highway, but gawd did it suck it up in stop & go traffic.

 

[Delta Flyer]

If you wanted an awesome pocket rocket, imagine an Insight with a rotary engine. Of course, it would not be a hybrid or a gas mizer, but with that kind of acceleration, a drag co-effieient of .25 and just 1800 pounds...

 

[boogetyboogety]

A rotary Insight...?!?

Talk about a "hybrid..." :shock:

Drooool...

Add Aaron Cake's flamethrower capability, and... where did I put my checkbook? :twisted:

 

[Aaron Cake]

I'll be more then happy to build a rotary Insight for anyone who asks.

 

[boogetyboogety]

A built-to-order rotary Insight...

Daaaamn, duude, I'm half-tempted... :shock:

Imagine some SUV trying to pull into your lane, and all of a sudden, your stock-looking little Insight just ROCKETS past him and to top it off, it blasts the offender with a long lick of flame when he finally pulls up behind you... o joy... :lol:

But. Back to earth, My Beloved sez I have too many toys as it is... :roll:

Although I am surprised someone hasn't already bastardized an Insight with a more powerful ICE out of an Acura or some other pocket rocket, sans hybrid technology, to take advantage of the super light body, strong frame, and awesome aerodynamics...

 

[Delta Flyer]

I guess this is a more real-world desire than the Star-Trek holoprojector that makes an Insight look like an Abrams Battle Tank. to approaching road warriors :twisted:

I experienced something more embarrassing than tailing an RX-7 this summer.

I was stopped at an intersection. The car infront of me was in very poor running condition. It needed a tune-up very badly. Anyway, the light turned green, and the big black cloud came out of the tailpipe. Worse, you could see it being pulled inside my car.

I felt like I was behind a car running on beans. :shock: